Figuring Out What to Do Next
06/03/2024
There are a lot of distressing things going on in the world right now. From where I am, it has been relatively calm, but it is hard to not worry constantly when information from around the world is freely available 24/7 on the little screen in my pocket. I try to self-correct for my doomscrolling by boosting informational posts and fundraisers and stuff, practicing mindfulness and closing the tab when it gets to be too much. This activity is, unfortunately, one of the few I have the physical and mental energy for between an increasingly-taxing full-timer and the boiling hot soup of ADHD that consumes almost every conscious hour of my life.
Locking in is not an option. I need to, for my own health and well-being, start fucking thrashing.
I need to embody the feral spirits of the various animal forms I've taken up over the years. I need to bite things. I need to make a mess. I need to venture out of Walmart-Target suburbia and go scavenge for food with friends in odd hours of the night. I need to scream and growl and make other weird annoying noises until it somehow comes together into a language I feel confident in speaking. I don't want to brood over how the future looks next year, or even in the next few months. Creatures don't wait on their phones or calendars for permission to live. Creatures just fucking live.
Okay. Anyway.
The weather has been getting warmer, so I've started another seasonal attempt at gardening. This year I found some creeping phlox at my local nursery that I'm hoping will grow into nice hanger baskets for our porch. I also just put some tall bellflower and black-eyed Susan seeds in the ground, which should make for a nice annual display later in the summer. I've been trying to cultivate a native plant landscape with the little gardening space we have. Last year, I had ambitious plans to grow blueberries, grapes, and an assortment of greens alongside a couple of native perennials - most of them dried out and perished (oops) but there appear to some survivors coming back after a couple of good May rainstorms. The birds and occasional chipmunk seem to like whatever I'm getting up to. Hardest part of gardening has not really been the labor, but rather dealing with the paper wasps that are holding one corner of our tiny patio hostage. I can't be too frustrated at them - they're just Little Guys doing their Little Guy Jobs, and I suppose exposure therapy counts as self-care too. (I am still very afraid of them 😔)
Art stuff is going...occasionally. I've been adjusting to a new hours and responsibilities at my very Not-Art job so I haven't had much time to focus on anything aside from a few quick requests and commissions here and there. I told myself awhile ago that, at minimum, I was going to draw Meta Knight everyday to keep up the habit (this has not panned out so far). I was literally way too swamped to do the Metamay drawing challenge, but I might try a late entry this month because it's June and you KNOW that knight is gay af.
That's all I've got for now. Take care, free Palestine, and grow love wherever you are.